Perseverance
Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Galatians 6:9
I'm not a runner. In fact I hate running so if you see me running know that maybe you should be too ;) People that know me know I like things yesterday. Sure people think I have the patience of a saint because I homeschool, but I don't. I don't know why people think homeschooling makes me a patient person. Anyways, I'm not. The idea of running a marathon would never ever cross my mind...ever! Today though I was thinking since I have about 5 hours of free time sitting at the hospital waiting for Judah to be done so two procedures.
Adoptive families kinda are marathoners.
We should all have some mile stickers on the back of our cars. There is all the search and paperwork and procedures going into adopting that is a marathon in and of itself but what I'm talking about is after the gotcha day or after the airport.
Adoptive parents take these kids from hard places and I will just tell you that no matter where your child comes from they are all hard places! Whether you wanted a child with special needs or not all former orphans in my honest opinion have special needs. A child deprived of love and attention, proper nutrition and hygiene, deprived of a mother and father, they will have some issues. That's why adoption should never be taken lightly or be about us or about "saving" a child. My friend said it best,"Bottom line is adoption isn't about us. It's not about fulfilling a need in our lives or getting a pat on the back. It's getting in the trenches with really hurt and messed up kids and saying 'I see you. I will feel your hurt with you. You are worth giving up my comfortable life in order to give you what you never had.' And we do it because that's what Jesus did for us."
That kind of dedication, that kind of commitment, that kind of change doesn't happen overnight. Oh how I wish bringing a child out of a bad environment cured all. They would get to their new home realize it was good and just be happy. Wouldn't that be just the best?! You do what God commands by adopting and in return God gives you a perfect and easy life. That sounds so lovely. But that isn't reality.
We start this "race" fast and full of hope and energy. Crossing things off the list. Getting paperwork done. Fundraising. Waiting for the first visit. Anticipation rises. Joy is all around. Birds are chirping. The road is flat, the weather is nice and I am going at a comfortable speed. Each mile goes past in the beginning and i say, "I got this! I don't know how it will all work out but it will. They are worth it!" Then after what seems like an eternity i come to the point of the race where I get my child or children. I am on cloud nine. I can do this. This is where all my work pays off. This is what i trained for. I got this.
The children are free. I hear the crowd cheering. I feel great. Then suddenly the road takes a sharp turn I wasn't expecting. Not too big a deal i think, it's just a turn. Remember my training i can do this. I catch my barrings and i push through just in time to hit a hill. It is so steep. I thought marathons were flat, long but flat. What the crap is this? I didn't sign up for a hill! I get part way up the hill and I think to myself I can't do this. Is isn't my life. I never wanted to be a runner. I was just following what God said to do but I didn't think it would like this. Matthew 11:30 pops into my head "For my yoke is easy to bear, and the burden I give you is light." This hill doesn't seem easy to bear or light but it's gotta stop at some point right. Prayer and perseverance. I push to the top of the hill only to see a steeper hill. No no no! This is not right! This isn't what I signed up for. I never ask for this. Why is this happening to me? What have I done? No matter what I do now my life is forever changed. What have I done?
Starting to question everything. Worry and doubt come in and can be seen on my face. People notice. "Just give up. It's ok. You aren't a runner, now you know. What will it hurt to just give up now?" But I think what if my blessing is right over that hill? What if God has something greater for me than this? I just need to get there. So I push furthered up the next hill. At the top of the next hill I am worn. Tired and weary I try to catch my breath. I grab some water and see the road is straight. I can do this. It's ok. I've come this far and the road seems straight and consistent. I think I can manage a little longer. Loved ones and friends tell me it's ok to quit. They say they wouldn't think badly of me but my heart just won't let me just yet.
I am at a good steady pace. My body is calm and things are getting comfortable. It still hurts some and I am sweating from the run but I can manage. Then in front of me out of nowhere the road is full of fallen trees. What am I suppose to do now? I didn't sign up for some crazy salvage race full of crazy stunts and obstacles. This is asking to much. This was never specified anywhere in the race information. I am totally gonna sue! Ok maybe not sue but I am going to complain and make sure everyone knows how I was misled! I'm justified in quitting now right?
I can't move. I know I'm wasting time but I think I'm done. I see all these trees in front of me and I don't know how I can go around. I can't go around I am going to have to climb over each one and that is not appealing at all. Maybe I could try one. If it's too much I will just stop. The bark is sticky and rough. It's gross. Seriously gross. I have no hand sanitizer and the last thing I want is to be sticky for the rest of this stupid marathon. This sucks. Let me just lay this flat out to y'all. This S U C K S, sucks. I want to be in my air conditioned house reading a book. I don't want to be doing this. Can someone, anyone take my place? Why God? Why would you allow me to run this race knowing full well all the obstacles that would be along the way. it isn't fair. Rapture, now please. I should have never climbed over any of them because no matter what I do now I have to climb. I either climb over them to go back or to go ahead. I know what is behind me trees, sap, hills, long long roads. I don't know what is ahead and call me crazy but if I keep going it could get better and it will have to end at some point right?
See, we are marathoners but not just the kind that go on flat roads for 13.1 miles. No we are crazy marathoners that have obstacles in our way and the miles are longer than any other marathon in history. Most of us finish the race. Some drop out. Some are forced out if the race by an act of God. Or the devil! But I'm here to tell you that staying the race pays off. Even if it doesn't feel like it. Even when your friends are gone and family is distant because no one understands why you did this to yourself. Even if no one acknowledges that you ran. One day you will hear "well done thy good and faithful servant," by the only One who matters.
Keep running. Your blessing could be just over the next hill.
Be blessed
