Judah.

We got "Shawn"'s file. I can't call him that. He isnt Shawn to me. He is Judah. It means Praise and Thanks. I have called him by name and he is mine :) Judah is the name we would like to name "Shawn".

Some things popped out at me in his file.

First his birth date. I was pregnant with our second child Elijah James, who didnt make it. We miscarried that November. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away and still I say Blessed be the name of the Lord.

His birth name means Servant of God. That makes me smile.

Next I noticed at birth he was over 9lbs 20.5 inches long. All my babies were 6. He was born at home and healthy.At 6 weeks old he entered the orphanage. At 10 he is 25 pounds 42 inches.

He first got sick when he was 13 months old. Hospitalized for a month.
16 months old another month stay in the hospital.
At 6yrs old hospitalized for another month.
He has gone through chemotherapy and countless antibiotics. They said his teeth were rotted and putrid. His first surgery he was one year old.

Then I noticed that he has a failing kidney and very good friends of mine have what I call "kidney kids." My one friend's son just had his transplant. How amazing is it that God put them in my life. He is amazing.

I wonder what Judah has thought about his life. Does he think that every touch is a bad touch? That this is how every life is, lonely and miserable. I wonder if he even knows the word Mama.

Soon my sweet boy. Soon.

Be blessed