Missing my boys

How is it possible to miss someone you have never met?

How can you love someone with all your heart that you have only seen a photo of?

Today I am missing my boys. My life is good, my heart is full. I have 5 other beautiful healthy wonderful children, yet I yearn to go half a world away to be with 2. There is an ache in my heart. A very real ache. I want to hold my boys. I want to blow bubbles with them and read them stories. I want to show them their photo albums that we made for them. I want to kiss their heads and tell them they are wanted, they are chosen, they are loved. I want them never to feel scared or alone. I want to wipe Misha's brow and tell him not to worry so much everything will be ok...soon.

Oh how I miss my boys. It is like my body knows that something is missing. My body knows they are my sons and they are not here.

Yesterday I found out that 4-5 weeks after our dossier is submitted we travel. I could see my boys in July or August! Are you kidding me?! That just amazes me. I still have the sting of what happened to us with the horrible american agency Kids to Adopt during our Russian process. Losing that child and being fed lie after lie and having our money stolen by KTA and then the way they acted. It was all so horrible. Part of me is waiting for the other shoe to drop here, but then the bigger part of me knows this is God and He's got this. I have such peace about this adoption. Such joy and excitement.

We are praying so hard to have our boys home by the end of the year. It would be a God thing for sure if we could make that time frame. The kids want their brothers home with them now. They would be so thrilled to get brothers for Christmas. Please agree in prayer that God bring our boys home by the end of the year. Also that the money would come.

I was talking with a friend last night and said we havent gotten donations in over a month. I told her I wasnt really worried about that though because I knew God would bring the money when we needed it. If its God's will it's God's bill.  I feel so honored and blessed that God has chosen us to be on this journey. People tell us all the time, "Oh God bless you for what you are doing. You are so great, so amazing." The truth is I am selfish. When God called us to adopt a special needs infant that we were told would be a vegetable at best and at worse die very early we said Yes God we will go. That turned out to be such a huge blessing in our lives and on our family we want that again. Our children are the amazing ones and I am selfish because I want that blessing in my life again.

If you are thinking about adoption or have any questions about domestic or international special needs adoption feel free to ask. I am an open book. If we can do it y'all can too! It isnt some nice thing we are doing, it is a command from God to care for the widows, orphans and fatherless. That doesnt always come in the way of adoption, but you certainly can support a child or widow. There are many ways to help. You can pray. You should pray :) You can financially help those adopting. You can sponsor a child through World Vision http://www.worldvision.org/ or Compassion International. http://www.compassion.com/ or Ten for Orphans http://www.tenfororphans.org/ . I will tell you that the difference you can make in the life of a child is amazing. We have 4 sponsored children through Compassion and some of them too little to write so their mums do. I got a letter from a mother who was so grateful for us she prayed daily for the Lord to bless us. Just a little goes such a long way. Just that monthly gift of 38.00 goes so far in their countries. It amazes and humbles me.

Check out this really awesome book http://www.amazon.com/Fields-Fatherless-Discover-Compassionate-Living/dp/0781448476/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1337949929&sr=8-1 Fields of the fatherless. Or NOt a Fan http://www.amazon.com/Not-Fan-Becoming-Completely-Committed/dp/0310331935/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337949957&sr=1-1 or The blessed Life http://www.amazon.com/The-Blessed-Life-Achieving-Guaranteed/dp/0830736352/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1337949976&sr=1-1

Church we need to rise up. If we are shouting PRO LIFE from the roof tops we better be willing to take help the mothers and children after they are born. If you see a need fill it, if you have an empty chair fill it. God will bless you for it. People tell me all the time reasons why they can't give or tithe. We need to be giving reasons why we can't NOT give or tithe. Jesus came to give us life. He came for the least of these. He ask us to go into all the world...ALL the world. How proud would our Papa be of us?  Remember Matthew 6:26-34
Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? 27“And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life?28“And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin,29yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. 30“But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! 31“Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ 32“For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. 33“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.

      34“So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. 

Also remember we still have our Buy Your Birthday Giveaway going on. When the calendar is full we will have a drawing for some pretty cool prizes!! http://continuingourjourney.blogspot.com/2012/04/buy-your-birthday.html


Be blessed...I know I sure am!