Today we waited to hear if the agency received the file that was sent last Wednesday. I got a call from Houston but they didnt leave a voice mail. I called back and it was a long mess I prefer not to relive. So no help there. So we waited. At 4:44pm I got a call from our SW. I know this because I was reading a book and the house was quiet so I closed my eyes for a few minutes and woke up to the phone and on the tv I saw the time. I was excited.
The excitement was short lived. She said they lied and didnt send it last week. We could go there on Friday to read it. So we can go to Houston on Friday to read it. Ok? Then what? What will you give me for doing that? A visit? A staffing? A meeting? She had to call and ask and I waited to hear. A few minutes later she said nothing really we could get. Long story. But she told us they would send the file Friday (not even today!) and we should get it Monday so then we go to the adoption agency and read it. Ok, we can do that. Then we get Micah right? Wrong!
She tells me it will be at least another 6 weeks due to the subsidy paperwork. She ask the caseworker if we could start the paperwork before we get the file since it takes so long. I was unclear as to the answer. What really hurts is that as soon as he gets here if it is when school is in session then they will force us to put him in school. We want to homeschool him. We want to bond with him. This annoys me. I am angry that they cant see past their own bureaucracy to see what is best for the child!
So today I was having a rough day. I am sure few of you know that today is the due date of our second child who we lost in utero. I wanted to have good news on this date. You know several years ago God gave us great news on this date. We found out we were having Sarie. It took some of the sting out of the tragedy of that date. I ask for help from my buddies online and they really came through.
- Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. James 1:2-4
8 hours ago · · 2 
2 Cor. 12:9-10 read it all. His strength is made perfect in our weaknesses, hardships, and distressing times.
8 hours ago · · 1
Isaiah 40:31 "Yet those who wait on the Lord will gain new strength....." His strength! His DUNAMIS Holy Spirit strength.
8 hours ago · · 1
And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.
(1 Peter 5:10 ESV)
8 hours ago · · 1
But the saints of the Most High will receive the kingdom and will possess it forever -- yes, for ever and ever. — Daniel 7:18 Forever! The Kingdom will belong to God's saints, his children, the people of the Most High (see Daniel 7:27), us! And it will be ours, forever ... and ever ... and ever. Praise God for his promises, his grace, and his faithfulness.
8 hours ago · · 1
Ashlee, you inspire me! I am amazed at you! Days like this are tough, but in the end, days like today will grow you even more! xoxoxoxo
8 hours ago · · 2
Consider it pure joy whenever you face trials of any kind because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete not lacking in anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
8 hours ago · · 1
Isaiah 41:13 NLT
For I hold you by your right hand—
I, the LORD your God.
And I say to you,
‘Don’t be afraid. I am here to help you.
my new all-time favorite: You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You because he trusts in You. is 26:3
8 hours ago · · 1
This is where I am today! Maybe it will help you too! When am afraid, I will trust in you. Psalm 56:3
7 hours ago · · 1
and in case that speaks to you this song goes with it. listed over and over today so far.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gFQCQcLVpM
Lyrics: When I can't see You I know You're there When I can't feel You I will no...See More7 hours ago · · 1 ·
Psalm 27, especially v. 13-14: I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. Wait for the LORD; be strong, and take heart, and wait for the LORD.
7 hours ago · · 2
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord. Plans for your welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope.
7 hours ago · · 2
Corinthians 4:16-18
Read more: http://www.whatchristianswanttokno w.com/ 22-inspirational-bible-vers es/#ixzz210M8rQ68
www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com
Are you looking for inspiration today? Check out my favorite inspirational Bible verses.
1 Corinthians 10:13 No test that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down, He will never let you be pushed past your limit; He will always be there to help you come through it.
6 hours ago · · 1
Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "the Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." Lam. 3:21-24. My favorite Ashley. Praying for you.
50 minutes ago · · 1
I wasnt going to let satan ruin my day. I am alive, I am breathing, my kids are here and healthy so I made a list
Grateful
- Paul's book was published today!! (www.losttheplotbook.com)
- healthy happy kids
- quiet time
- friends who lifted me up
- fun dinner
- USCIS fingerprints done.
- playing at the pool with the kids
- watching Noah eat a kids meal!
- new friend at church
-warm welcoming people at church
- new friends at church praying for me and caring about me
- clean-ish house :)
- bedtime prayers
-hugs and kisses 5x over!
- tv date with my handsome husband
- the show 24
- the Bible (all those encouraging words)
- hearing from the social worker (even if it wasn't what we wanted to hear)
Tonight we were reading about the woman who touched Jesus' garment and was healed. We looked at the same story in Matthew, Mark, and Luke. Something was said that stayed with me. "Daughter, your faith has healed your pain and affliction. Go and be well." I kept thinking that if I could just touch His garment, but then we have what they didn't have- a direct link to the Father. We have the Holy Spirit. We have Jesus.
Something else that was said during class was "Whether its then or now as long as it glorifies God." That's what I want. Today I'm disappointed and sad. I want my child home. Feeling that way doesn't make me less trusting of God. It doesn't mean I lost my faith. I lost my patience sure but not in God, in humans that don't care. Being a follower of Christ doesn't mean that I will never feel heartache or disappointment. It doesn't mean I wont feel weary and sad. Please don't mistake my human feelings for not giving it to God or not following. Taking up your cross daily isn't comfortable. I'm trying. I fail daily but praise the Lord He still loves me.
Be blessed
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