Aziza

Today a little girl in Canada that I had never met in person died. Her mama and I talked before on facebook because she was adopted out of foster care,has had down syndrome and was 6 years old. Yesterday he mama posted that Aziza had the tummy bug or so she thought and then when at the hospital she coded and it was a blockage and then things went from bad to worse and she was laying in a coma not sewn up from surgery in massive organ failure and septic. I cried. Why? I didnt even know her? But we were all part of a community, the DS community.

I prayed without ceasing and begged God to heal her on earth. I cried, begged and prayed. It wasnt fair. I have never wanted Jesus to come back more than I have lately. Then through tears and shock I read that Aziza went to be with Jesus. Death sucks! I think about things like the last facebook status, the last picture, the elf on the shelf picture with him laying with the rectal thermometer. I think about the pretty bow her mama had made for her and it was a gift for Christmas. 20 days before Christmas. The presents! It isnt fair! I dont understand how this happens and sometimes if I let it it scares me. The last time, the last conversation, the last picture and how we dont know that then. How death is sometimes right around the corner and we dont have a freakin clue!

I am heartbroken. I get sad when orphans and babies die. I get sad when anyone dies but all day all I did was cry. Why did this child have such an impact? Was it the down syndrome and now I have a child with DS and that is it? I dont know but I know that I grieve for this family. How empty her mama's arms are right now.


All I can do is pray. That seems so small but God is so big and He will take care of them. Oh how I long for Heaven. Come back soon Jesus. Please pray for this family. Pray for the mama who now has joined a club no one wants into. A mama who knows a hurt that will change the rest of her life. Pray for a sister who has to grow up and learn about loss and how to live without her baby sister. Pray for the family.

You know I dont get it. Horrible people in this world are alive and well and she is gone. It doesnt seem right or fair! I dont care if the world isnt fair. This isnt right. I live in a time where the church is apathetic and we cover our eyes and ears to things we dont want to know about and we pay for pretty stuff and buildings and babies die. Babies die, orphans are alone hurting abused and not fed and men and women sleep on the street. Mother is separated from child and we all just pretend nothing bad exists, except I see it. I see it everyday and I wanna scream WHY DOESNT ANYONE CARE?! I just want Jesus. Im weak and Im weary and I just want Jesus because this world sucks.

Be blessed