Soon

In 9 days I will board a plane with my husband and oldest daughter and head to Bulgaria. I'm so excited to go back. It is a beautiful country with so many wonderful people.  As excited as I am you would think I would be ready. Nope. 

I guess I'm a classic procrastinator. I denied it for awhile but now I see it. Hi my name is Ashlee and I procrastinate :) 

My house is not anywhere near where I want it to be, but I'm thinking oh well. My son's therapist said "what would happen if you just relaxed a bit on the housework? Judging by the face you are giving me I take it that's not an option." Apparently I had a some sort of look on my face. Then I went home and thought...I can blame her haha...and promptly stopped cleaning. 

It's not like I'm sitting around eating Bon bons, though that would account for the extra poundage since January.  Appointments, illnesses, kids, that takes up a good part of my day. The rest of the day I spend doing something I usually don't do, worrying. 

I have left my kids before. I leave them for date nights, to grocery shop or grab a coffee with a friend. I've left them for mission trips, adoption travels, surgeries, births, etc. all but one of those times was my husband ever with me. So they either have mom or dad never neither. Now we've added kids and one that has some issues, especially when I'm not there. 

Then I think about how undeserving I am for such a blessing as two new beautiful children. So then I am sure the world will end in 8 days. Then I think about them being home , more dr appointments, more bills. Holy Spirit reminds me that God will not leave or forsake me. Whole lotta thoughts going on. 

Please if you think of us pray for us. We need a van because our truck which is on its last leg isn't big enough for our family. We have little ones who won't understand us leaving and little ones who won't understand our language or what is happening to them. We have some tender hearted kids who don't like it when we leave. Don't forget us after the airport. Please.