Wounded

I just wanted to say thank you so much to everyone who has helped us through this adoption of Micah.  This week can be known as hell week. satan (no I will never capitalize that name) tried to get us to back off and quit but God won. Silly satan don't you know how this will all end?

I want to try to write my feelings but its hard. This week was hard, beyond hard. Today I am feeling the effects of being attacked all week. I am tired and worn out, spent. Just spent. I am quiet today. I dont want to talk. I dont want to hear anything. I just want to be still. I want to listen to worship music and be still.

When I speak tears flow. The tears are always right there waiting to come out at any moment. I'm questioning if I acted like I should this week. Did I pass the test? Is God proud or did I fail Him? I don't know. I'm so tired. I'm so weak.

The real work is going to begin when we bring him home and its going to be a challenge. Am I going to be able to do this?

This song says it all,And even though I feel so lonely
Like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
But You said You'd see me through the storm

And even though I'm walking 
Through the valley of the shadow
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 
Whose love will comfort me
And when all hope is gone
And I've been wounded in the battle
He is all the strength that I will ever need
He will carry me 





So I will be quiet and know God is carrying me. I may be wounded but God will see me through this storm. Its about to get tough but God will be there to see me through it all. I trust You God. When I said Let me go send me I meant it! Life isnt guaranteed no heartache all sunshine and roses. I am here to work for You to further Your kingdom and do all I can to serve You and make You proud. Give me strength. I will go. I will follow where You lead and I wont say no. Just please give me strength because this is hard.

Be blessed

Feeling defeated

This may not be coherent. Im exhausted. All week we have not heard from CPS. Today I went to the state rep and told them. Well that seemed to work. I got a call and Micah's caseworker said they were getting on a plane at 245pm tomorrow. Yay! All was well until......

I tried calling to get plane info. He refused to answer. I called about 10 other people. No answer. I was furious and frustrated. Finally I get a call from the case worker telling me that he isnt coming. He has another adoption in North or South Carolina on Wednesday and its too overwhelming. He doesnt want to come.

All hell broke loose at this point.

Long story short (will tell the whole thing when I dont have a crying headache and my eyes arent all swollen from crying) we still dont know. We wont know until tomorrow.

Please pray.

Be blessed

i800a approval!!!

Today we got in the mail our i800a approval paper! Yay! This means that now all I need to do is apostille our documents and then we can send the dossier. Even better news is the 5,500. fee that the agency needed when we send the dossier we paid for awhile ago. Right now I am asking that if God leads you to donate to our adoption you would. I made a small goal of 200. and that will cover the appostilling fees. To donate you can click below and it should take you where you need to be. Donate to our adoption
https://www.wepay.com/donations/76745

We plan to host a spaghetti dinner sometime soon to raise money for travel. More details when we find a place to have it.

Thank you all for supporting us! You guys have been so great.

Friday we hope our son Micah comes home from Houston CPS. We are having a lot of problems with this adoption and it is getting so annoying. We want what is best for Micah and they dont seem to really care. Our caseworker, the same one who brought us Noah, has been amazing. She tries so hard to get things done but CPS just is not on the ball. Please pray for us. Pray for Micah. He is extremely skinny and has runny diarrhea about 8-10x a day. I have doctor appointments scheduled starting next Monday, but after yesterday it looks bleak as to if he really will be home this week, or month.


Thank you all so much for the support! We really could not be doing this without y'all.

Be blessed

Edited to add:

coffee fundraiser
https://justlovecoffee.com/about/beneficiary/whatsonemore/

Will he out grow it?

Micah's foster mom and I were talking and she was telling me about the bio family. She said the gramma ask her if he would out grow his down syndrome and she said she cant guarantee it. She ask if he was going to be retarded forever. She couldnt guarantee that either. Then the gramma never was heard from again.

Oh my.

I wonder if I will ever be ask that question? I was ask that about Noah and said "No you cant outgrow your genes" The thing is the foster mom wasnt joking. Bless her heart.

Have any of you been ask something like that? What were your responses. Do you go with educational, funny, rude?

Be blessed

More visits.

Yesterday we had Micah from 9am until 10pm. It was a long day. We went to the beach for awhile. It was wonderful...well minus the sand part haha.

When we first got there he didnt want to be there. He kept his shirt on and kept saying go. But soon his daddy was showing him how much sand is and he was in the water all on his own. He had several diapers blowouts through out the day around 6 by the time we took him back.

After the beach though we headed back to the house we are staying at got all cleaned up and hung out for a little while. Then it was time for Micah's psych eval. It was at 4pm at 745 we got out of there. I was so tired as were all the kids, tired and hungry. So I called to see if we could keep him while we ate and she said yes so we went out to dinner at the local mall.

He stayed close to us while at the mall. He likes to be held and doesnt do well in the car. He is constantly trying to take off his belt or grab at the kids.

When we dropped him off he said "No, wanna stay you." He clung to his dad and I. He has lived with this one foster mom basically his whole life and I know he will miss her. She has been working with him everyday preparing him for us. Plus we have circled him in prayer for the last year. We do not believe this is a warning sign and he will have rad, we believe our God has once again answered our prayers we ask Him. The psychologist says his bonding is very good.

3rd visit

Paul went early to pick him up. The kids slept in a little and we basically hung out at the house all day. We are dropping him off early not that we want to but that we need to get home. We have run out of money and time staying here. CPS refuses to allow us to take him home. They have to bring him to us on Friday. So we are going to miss him terribly but pray and get ready for him to come next week. I hope the caseworker follows through this time.

Be blessed

My love

I walked up to the front door and she told us to have a seat. I turned and looked in the livingroom to see this tiny little guy watching TV. He turned to look at us and then back at the tv. At first I didnt think it was him. He was little, skinny and really didnt look like he had DS. I mean he did but didnt. She came in and we all sat down. I pulled him up to me and he smiled.

I said "Hello my love," and he looked at me like "who, me?" I ask her what we should have him call us and she said she told him his mama and daddy were coming so if we were ok wit it then he could call us mom and dad. I showed him the books and things we brought for him. I held him in my lap, then gave him to Paul. He is so beautiful! So amazing!

We played for a little bit then the case worker came in. He and the foster mom talked while we visited. It all felt awkward, he is my son but I am in a stranger's home with people watching me meet my child for the first time. I overheard the case worker say the psych eval wasnt done and I remember that it had to be in order to take him home with us for good. I put it out of my mind and we played.

Paul went outside to get our photo book we had for him and as he was walking back I asked Micah, "Who is that?" and he said "Daddy" Be still my heart!

I spent most of my time talking with the foster mom and Paul got to play. Micah did love being with us. He is just  such a beautiful child. He did want my camera and fought me for it too, he is very strong. At one point Paul and him were laying on the floor reading together. It was so sweet. Then out of the blue he gets up gets his bag and the things we brought him says "C'mon Daddy" and Paul takes his hand and they walk out to the door, Micah hands me my shoes says "Mon Mom!" and then tells his foster mom bye.

I was shocked. He wanted to be with us. He was ready to go start his life. When it was actually time to leave he clung to me and Paul and hung on for dear life. "Mom, Dad, lets go" "Bye (to foster mom) Bye, Bye!" We had to tell him he had to stay and we would pick him up tomorrow. Then he kissed me on the lips and Paul too.  Walking out that door was the hardest thing I had to do. Now for some pics :) Be blessed

Houston we have a problem

Ok so I just had to say that haha!

Yesterday we read the file. It was grim, bleak and made him sound like an animal. I was quite all day. I think I just needed some time to really process and try to make sense of something that didnt make any sense. We are staying at a nice house with wonderful people. I thank God for them. Our new friends made us dinner last night and we hung out and talked while the kids played. It was wonderful.

This morning we woke up, well I was up every hour. Noah too. Sigh. But at 7:30 on the dot we got our conference call. It went well. I felt more hopeful. Then we got our visitation schedule and I kinda got a little heartbroken.

We get to see him tomorrow at 9am and then friday 12-8 and Saturday at 1pm. I ask when we get him and thats when we were told that we have to leave without him. He will be brought to our house at some point next week to spend the night then back to his foster home and then they will do that again. I dont know. I really just want my son home. I hate the back and forth back and forth.

So I am hopeful that he is not a savage beast that the papers made him look like, but sad that we go home empty handed.

Please pray for us, pray for Micah. Pray for Trin, Cherry, Sarie, Avenley and Noah too. Thanks

He crawled into bed with Cherry and refused to leave! haha. She didnt mind.

This gal is perhaps the most lovely gal I have ever met. She is beautiful and kind and amazing! Trinity and her were like two peas in a pod.

Trin with her new friends. 

Great kids!

Mad that his daddy took him out of Cherrys bed haha. He kept saying, "I told you No! Dad! I told you no!!!"

Be blessed